Thursday, January 30, 2014

Holy shit.

I ate like a fatass today, what else is new. Food diary to follow after this revelation.
I've been looking at pictures from me at my lowest weight and HOLY SHIT. Like I certainly wasn't skinny, but comparing myself now to back then I kind of actually hate myself. Like I was one of the girls I would be jealous of now. I found a picture that back then I detested I thought I looked fat as shit. My stomach looks almost flat. I mean, obviously we all know it never has been, but IT LOOKS LIKE IT.

Food today:
-About a thousand dark chocolate covered pomegranate thingies (350)
-1 turkey sandwich (215)
-Handful of sweet potato chips (120)
-White roasted potatoes (100)
-1 1/2 tablespoons ketchup (30)
-1 Rocky Road Klondike bar (230)
-1 glass of milk (100)

Total: 1025

So, I guess not terrible, but not great either.
I wish I could say that the whole "eating dinner" thing is just so people don't get suspicious, but I'm not going to lie to the only people in my life who are 100% honest with me 100% of the time. I ate everything because my mouth craved it, and the only reason I didn't go back for seconds was because there were no more potatoes left.
I am gross.


  1. Been there love. It sucks more than a 17 year old drunk chick. For real.
    I'm so impressed that you can make it that long without eating though! I tried to fast once and by 4pm I was literally lying on my porch not able to stand up.
    I'm not sure if its the same for you, but if I eat really little meals throughout the day I'm way less likely to binge around dinnertime.
    Plan for a positive tomorrow and its more likely to happen <3

  2. Picture comparisons are always a bitch. I could probably make a kilo-by-kilo slideshow from photos I've taken over the years from my lowest to my highest weight. There never seems to be much change until I look at the photographic evidence for comparison.

    Dark chocolate covered pomegranate things sound delicious. I've gotta say I have a weakness for dark choc coated coffee beans. I know you might feel like your mindset with eating today hasn't been great, but for what it counts, I don't think you ate like a fatass. Cravings suck, but I do think it's important to indulge them sometimes so you don't go all-out binge crazy on them.

    Take care dear. I hope you feel a little brighter tomorrow <3 xx

  3. ^this girl.
    picture comparisons are a bitch. that is one thing i give you. the worst is when you lose 3-4 kilos and can't tell a difference in those two pictures! ahahaha. nope. nope. N O P E.
    awwwww. do not look at photos to compare yourself. it may make you unhappy and i do not want an unhappy Charlie <3.
    :( you are not gross. shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
    and that calorie count is nothing. take it from me> 13

    -sam Lupin

  4. -Sam Lupin** yes i actually double commented to fix my name. sad life i lead.


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