Sunday, November 6, 2011

I wish I lived in a house.

Eating. Food. Living.
It would all be so much easier.

Instead it's all shit.
I've officially hit my highest weight ever. I don't think I'll post it here because I'm way too embarrassed.
None of my clothes fit anymore.
My room is a disheveled mess of clothes and food and garbage and candy wrappers and water bottles.
I've had this chest cold for three weeks, and I'm still hacking up phlegm every morning because I've been smoking so many herbal cigarettes and weed.
I can barely sing, due to aforementioned chest cold.
I'm absolutely stone-cold broke.

College is shit.

But college is amazing. See, no one asks if I've eaten. Or why I'm not going to lunch. Because everyone has different schedules, so they all assume that you're busy or you've eaten.
I slept eighteen hours yesterday. Eighteen hours got my weight down about five or six pounds.
And I've eaten a lot already.
And I keep telling myself, "Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow..."
And someday, tomorrow will become today.

I've been crocheting a lot lately. I have three blankets in progress and a completed hat that is extremely small. And a completed ear warmer that could probably fit a small child.
Everything is always too small.

Or maybe I'm too big...


  1. I say you make a plan today and put it into action Monday, November 7. Why? Because you said you keep putting it off. Quit putting it off! Do you like your weight? If the answer is no, and I'm sure it is, then why keep putting it off? Start the HSGD to get on track and when that's done, go to the SGD or something. Just make a plan and just do it. The longer you put it off, the harder it will be.

  2. I know this is probably hard to get at the minute, but this doesn't have to be a bad thing.

    This can be your incentive, use the fact you've got to your highest weight as a starting point. Write your weight down somewhere and say, 'Right it's going to take a lot of work, but I'm never going to way this again'.

    Take a piece of clothing that is a few sizes to small, every week put it on, the feeling of it feeling a little less tight every week will feel amazing.

    I'm crocheting too, but I'm not as creative as you, I'm crocheting my dreads lol.

    I have followed your blog for a long time and the blog before this one, I might not always comment, but I've read every post.

    I hope you know I care about you, so if you ever need anyone, you know where I am.
    I'll help as much as I can.

  3. Lovieeeee! Don't feel bad! You'll get through this slump. I know it can be difficult seeing that number change in a way you do not like but take it as inspiration and motivation to get going and make it what you want it to be. We still have 2 months to become "skinny 1s". Even if that means ending the year only one pound lighter than when we started it. I'm here for you and I'm rooting for your team. (BTW I'm crocheting a blanket, too!) Now, get back out there and make us proud! Loads of love <3


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