Well, up until last night, I WAS two months purge-free, going into my third month.
Last night I got really drunk (not crazy drunk, but pretty damn drunk, like to the point where I was able to be social and talk to people and not be an awko-taco), and we went to McDonald's and I had a hamburger, twenty piece nuggets, and large sweet tea (half-sweet, half-unsweetened). I didn't really eat much else yesterday, just a bacon omelette and some chips and salsa, so I was pretty much drinking on an empty stomach, which usually spells bad news for me but I was surprisingly fine as of last night.
So anyway, we get back to the dorm, and I think about throwing up. I go pee, and I was feeling a little nauseous.
I've been debating with myself as to if last night broke my no-purging streak and I decided it does for the following reasons:
-I probably could have just gone to bed and not throw up.
-Although it did make me feel significantly better, it was not urgent or my body's reaction, I had to physically make myself throw up.
-That was a pretty monstrous binge and I didn't really want it in my stomach.
This morning, before I left, I stopped at McDonald's again. This morning I was feeling a little weird, possibly hungover, but without the headache, just the nausea. I figured it was because my stomach was so empty and it hasn't been used to being empty (you know, like hunger-related nausea?) so I got three hamburgers, a small fry, and a small chocolate shake. I got two burgers down, a few fries, and the shake, and they made me feel even worse. Mind you, this is an hour drive, I was maybe fifteen minutes into it.
So I finally got home, shat my brains out (TMI, maybe, this made me feel less nauseous though) and went to lay down, then immediately got up, stuck my fingers down my throat, and a lot of stuff came out, despite having been "digesting" for almost an hour (I'm convinced that I don't metabolize food like a normal person anymore).
I'm a little shaky now, but I feel a lot better after purging. I'm counting it. So now I start over counting the purge-free days.
I think I might try to eat that last hamburger now.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I'm sorry to hear you broke your purge-free streak. But hey, two months without purging is frikkin' amazing! Don't be too hard on yourself, okay? We all slip up sometimes, but it doesn't take away from the achievements you've made.
ReplyDeleteI dunno if it's an Australian thing or not, but we call it the 'after grog bog', or AGB for short.
Take care as best you can. Good luck for the week ahead! xx
awww no :(
ReplyDeletethat sucks. i'm sad you had to break the purge free streak! purging is the devil. it honestly is. i have not purged for a year and something saying that (cheers!).
awww honey
sounds like you had a rough few days. i'm hoping that you feel better now.
-Sam Lupin
PS. i WILL READ AS MUCH OF YOUR OLD BLOG AS I'D LIKE OK <3
I know it sucks that you broke your purge free streak, but be proud that you lasted that long. I have to go back on my coffee and gum only diet this week since it seems to be the only thing that seems to help me get a handle on the purging. You did it with sheer willpower alone, so even though you may have slipped up be proud of what you accomplished!
ReplyDelete