As of tomorrow, I will be 1 year and 10 months purge-free.
(Not counting when I actually needed to throw up, like if I drank too much, which happens way to often, or if I had stomach flu or something)
It's weird to think about.
Sometimes I still get the urge to, like when I got pizza last Friday night for dinner.
I was thinking about it and thinking about it, like.. Wow this pizza makes me feel awful, but it tastes so good. I could easily just throw it up when I get home.
What stops me every time is that thought that it isn't just a one time thing. It's a compulsion. Once I start, everything has to be purged or it's no good.
Anyway, I'm trying to be healthy and shit. Like 1,500 calories a day or less.
It's hard.
I love sugar. And chocolate. And pizza.
But to be honest with you, after the first couple of bites, it never really tastes that great.
But I have to finish it all, so I might as well just not start
I've been doing yoga a lot. I found this really cool app that was like $4, and it has all these yoga classes on it. Everything from beginner 15 minute classes to super advanced expert classes. It's super calming and I like it. Maybe I told you guys about that already. Maybe not.
I have these two pairs of jeans that I want to be able to wear by the new year. They're not THAT small, but they're small enough that they're super uncomfortable. And I think like minus ten or fifteen pounds and they would fit alright. At least enough that I could wear them to stretch them out a bit.
Sorry, I'm rambling. But whatever.
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Congrats, lovely! That's no small achievement! I think it's a real sign of great inner strength to be able to remind yourself of the inevitable outcome and that it's not worth it.
ReplyDeleteI love my yoga apps. I really should get back into it. Which one are you using? I've been thinking about getting a paid one.
<3
xx