Exhaustion.

I've dropped another five pounds, which makes it 25 total that I have lost since the end of May/beginning of April.
I've been restricting a lot this week, but not consciously. We're in our final days at the school, so my days have been filled with cleaning and organizing and throwing things away. Even at night, I have paperwork to fill out and things to make (I hand-wrote about 70 cards to my kids and staff in one night. Not mandatory, but something I knew I would feel bad about if I didn't do). I don't think I've had more than 4 hours of sleep each night this week, no naps during the day like usual... I can feel myself on the verge of getting sick. Is this what a full time job is like? (That question stems from the fact that I am only USUALLY allowed to work 32 hours, but for this week and next week, I'm clocking in well over 32. I believe it's 36 for this week, and a solid 40 for next week.
Part of it is my procrastination, but part of it is also that my boss only gave us our closing paperwork and assignments this past Monday, with eight days of school left.
Like, you gotta be fucking kidding me.


Anyway, today I had a total of 940 calories.
-1 protein bar (170)
-1 small watermelon Coolatta from Dunkin' (240)
-1 blueberry muffin from Dunkin' (460)
-1 low-fat cheese stick (70)


For the amount of food I actually ate, that is a ridiculously high number of calories.

I feel hungry, but nothing really seems appealing. Like, I can feel my stomach growling, I know that my body is hungry, but my brain says, "Nope, no food. None of that is what I want."
And that's the amphetamines talking.


But tomorrow night, I get to go to bed as early as I want, without any obligations! I am so thrilled, I can't wait. And if I get my work done early tomorrow, I may be able to take a nap before my second shift! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz