29 Days

29 days to lose 20 pounds.
Fuck.


Liquid fasting today. We'll see how that goes. Beerbeerbeerbeerbeerbeerbeer.

She read my things.

She READ my THINGS.

THINGS THAT I HAD THROWN AWAY.
She left them in a drawer with a note attached.
"Binge-Purge? We need to talk."


WHY THE HELL DID YOU READ MY THINGS YOU FUCKING CUNT. You are the worst excuse for a mother anyone could ever ask for.

I knew going away was a bad fucking idea and I knew she would snoop through my stuff. Thank God I hid the most of it in my closet. I need new hiding places.
Now I understand why she made such a big deal out of making a "special healthy dinner with foods I liked"


Just for that, I'm not eating anything tomorrow.
Stupid fucking bitch.

I've eaten less today than I have in the past two weeks.
I've still eaten too much.
I want to eat more.

My Roommate.

Direct quote from her blog. 

"So I’m sitting indoors with a coat on because I’m always cold.

I’m always cold because I have zero insulation.

I have zero insulation because I’m one of those skinny bitches everyone hates :D

This Marilyn Monroe thing I’ve been working on for comp has been seriously not good for my self esteem. She was like a size 8 and everyone is like “wow its so great that she’s a size 8 and she was so beautiful and omg girls today are skinny and trashy”

I’m a size 3… I can’t help it.

TL;DR Marilyn Monroe makes me feel bad about myself because I’m thin."

I'm sorry. I have no pity for you, you egotistical bitch.

Tomorrows.

We always use tomorrow. We overuse it.
"Oh, I'll take care of that tomorrow, it can wait." "I messed up today, I'll start again tomorrow."

Fuck tomorrow. Tomorrow might not come for you. All you know you have is today, and honestly, you can't even be 100% sure you have all of today. You only have the moment you're living in, it's all you can really be sure of.
Although, thanks to The Matrix, we can't even really be sure of that anymore...


So, FUCK tomorrows and excuses. Start today.

Start now.


(Now, let's watch Charlie fail to follow her own advice)

Fresh Start (stretch marks)

I have six new stretch marks. On my tummy. From GAINING WEIGHT. At college.

So, now it's time to get serious. I'm going to start tomorrow with a fruit-fast, probably just apples, as I just bought a whole bunch of Ginger Gold apples (these are literally the best kind of apples I've ever had in my entire life).
So tomorrow is Apple-Fast.
Then the next day, I'm going to try to keep it around 800? Preferably lower, but I've been eating so much lately...
It's really hard having an unlimited meal plan, because I feel like I have to go to the Commons (our food-place) every day to get my money's worth.
Fuck you, parents.
Upper Middle Class Problems, hah.

Now, please excuse me, as I write an essay that's due in about seven hours.

Here's the thing, Roommate.

YOU DON'T NEED TO FUCKING TALK RIGHT WHEN I WAKE UP. ONCE YOU SEE MY EYES OPEN DOES NOT GIVE YOU FREE RANGE TO RATTLE YOUR MOUTH.

Also, please stop slamming your damn drawers while I try to sleep.