Meow.

Thank you guys for all your support. I have a tendency to be a bit irrational sometimes. Well, all the time, really.

I went to the doctor today and she diagnosed me with strep and gave me antibiotics.

Of course this is after I threw up in the shower (unwillingly) while trying to brush my teeth.

WARNING THIS EXPLANATION PART IS REALLY GROSS SKIP AHEAD IF YOU'RE GROSSED OUT EASILY.
So, basically what happened was, I was brushing my tongue, and because my tonsils are so swollen they like attack my uvula when I try to brush my tongue. That happened, and I dry-heaved a bit. Then I actually threw up a bit. But as I was throwing up, the white stuff on my tonsils from strep had hardened, and it was like... Peeling off. I told ya. Gross. So here I am, in the shower, vomiting stomach acid and this nasty white stuff from my tonsils. One of the little white thingys came like halfway off my tonsils and kept poking at my uvula, so I kept gagging and puking. 
OKAY GROSS PART OVER YOU CAN CONTINUE HERE.

So, coming from someone who willingly has stuck her fingers down her throat an impossibly high number of times, throwing up when out of my control honestly makes me break down and sob.
Like, not when I've had too much to drink, because that needs to happen. But like, stomach flu and stuff like what happened this morning? I am reduced to bawling.


Now I have antibiotics, and I think they're starting to kick in because there's a lot less white stuff on my tonsils. They still hurt, but I think they hurt more because of the white stuff coming off and the skin (is it skin? tissue?) underneath being raw. So, I can't drink juice because it's too acidic and hurts. Also I've been maxing out on pain meds the past few days I should probably chill with that.

Haven't weighed myself recently, but my appetite is back. Things still taste kind of weird.
On another note, I now have a car! No more walking 30 minutes up an 80 degree incline to school!

Love you guys. Thanks so much for always being here <3

Updates..

So I think I was being a bit irrational last night.

Today it just looks like I bit my lip in a couple different places, or my lips were really chapped.
You know when you cut like inside your lip and it turns kinda white cause it won't scab over cause like wet mouth-y-ness? That's what it looks like. Like two little white lines, right in between where one of my teeths is.

But I'm pretty sure I at least have strep.
Appetite is starting to come back though. Kill me now.

I'm really scared.

Like absolutely petrified.

I hooked up with two guys this past week, and now I'm really sick. I'm really worried that I have herpes in my mouth and throat.

At first I just thought it was strep, but then I was washing my face tonight, and I have a tiny blister-like thing on my lip.
I'm praying to God it's just chapped lips. Please oh please. Please.



On the bright side, I've lost six pounds from being sick. Yay me.

Decisions...

I have to start making decisions. And soon.

I'm currently making a meal plan when I have to be ready to go in four hours. No sleep?



I have to decide what I want to focus my major on. I think I've decided, as of tonight. I'm going to do a concentration in creative writing.
Fiction.

I was reading some of my old work and like... Shit. I used to be pretty good. Like, some of it could use some major tweaking but the ideas are gold.

But what am I going to do with the rest of my life?

Note to all the boys in the world.

For the record:

If a girl is talking to you and she took the time out of her day to text/message you first, you probably shouldn't take the time out of your conversation to talk about another girl and say that that other girl is "such a sweetheart."



That's all.