Yikes

I'm supposed to get my period this weekend

But I don't waaaaannnnaaaaaaa






Cue intense ice cream eating fit.

Expansion is imminent.

I have stopped losing weight like I was over the summer.
Which is normal.
Which is natural.
Which is disappointing.

It also probably has something to do with my affinity for brownie ice cream.

I have gained weight.

I don't have a scale, but I can tell.
My shorts feel tight today.
Maybe it has something to do with the pizza and McDonald's and ice cream I've been eating all week long.

I have an appointment with the weight loss doctor on Tuesday... Need to be back down. Need to.

Slowly.

So last week I went on an epic McDonald's binge.
And what I mean by that is every night for dinner I had just a shit ton of McDonald's.
Somehow, I managed to not gain any weight. The last time I weighed myself (yesterday), I weighed in at 204.5, which is 2lbs lighter than this past weekend. I have an appointment with the weight loss doctor in less than two weeks (September 20), and I really want to be 195 for it. That would be so wonderful.

Here is a grand list of all the food I currently have in the house.
FRIDGE:
-Coconut milk
-Orange juice
-Mayo
-Ketchup
-Salad dressing
-Eggs (probably need to be tossed soon)
-Shredded cheddar cheese
-Block cheddar cheese
-Leftover tuna salad (1/4 cup)
-2 Granny Smith apples
-Six pack of Landshark (minus one)

CUPBOARD
-Protein shake mix
-Loaf of wheat bread
-Four cans of condensed tomato soup
-Box of protein bars
-One can of tuna
-Small jar of crunchy peanut butter

Had a small infestation of fruit flies that led me to throwing out all the veggies and fruits I had left from shopping last week. I didn't even open half of it. I think I would really like to make chicken salad at some point this week. I have no desire to cook and very little desire to eat because of how much I despise doing dishes. Which is actually what I'm supposed to be doing right now. In an effort to rid myself of the fruit flies, I have been making plans to scrub my entire apartment with bleach. I finally pulled the bleach out of the cupboard, so that's progress, right?

I also have managed to snag a job. It's minimum wage, 10-12 hours a week, but at least it's a job, right? I'm lifeguarding at the local YMCA and teaching swim lessons. This Y is even smaller and even less busy than the YMCA I guarded at over the summer. During my four hour shift today, I spent at least a full hour organizing our equipment room, because no one was in the pool.
Aside from being non-strenuous work (I literally just sit on my ass and listen to music while old people swim laps), the bonus perk of working for the YMCA is the free membership.

My shift was so slow today, I had time to make a weekly workout schedule, with swimming, cardio and strength training. I've also been doing yoga every day (or as close to every day as I can get). My ultimate goal is to be exercising 2-4 hours per day, depending on the day. Normally I just throw myself into workout routines and end up hurting so bad that I don't continue them, but I am going to take it slow this time. Maybe start with 2 hours per day, and work my way up. I really enjoy being physically fit, and I haven't swam since camp ended (3 weeks ago today). I was racking up mad time swimming, to the point where I would take my hour long break and swim the entire time. My fitness level hasn't been this high in a really long time. I can do (modified) pushups now! And in terms of yoga, I've been working on my headstands for the past month and I'm actually making progress.

In terms of food, I know that I haven't been eating as much as I probably should. Between not wanting to do dishes and not really having a ton of food in the house, I go pretty far between "meals". I know that I do probably need to eat more, but I've seen so much progress this summer with my weight and my fitness that it honestly just makes me want to eat less. Also helps that my prescriptions majorly dull any food cravings I may have. They definitely don't make me "not hungry" because I can feel my stomach rumbling a lot, but no food I can think of seems appetizing. I may go out and get some ice cream tonight, because fuck it. I really need to bring my scale back to my apartment, and get some new batteries for it, so I can actually keep track. I hate not knowing what I weigh and having to make an estimate of how bloated and gross I am based on how my clothes fit.

I went and visited one of my pledge sisters last weekend, really spur of the moment, to get drunk and do what we do. When I made it, she was already hammered, and she kept going on and on about how great I looked and how skinny I looked. It made me feel really good, because I HAVE lost a lot of weight since I last saw her (about 25-30lbs?). It makes me just want to keep losing weight until it's all gone.

This has been a really long post. Sorry about that. It's been awhile since I've actually written anything of substance on here. If you've made it this far, congratulations. I'm going to go do some work that I've been putting off forever. XO