Reasons You Should Not Fuck Your Drug Dealer

1. Because free drugs aren't worth feeling like shit after.
2. Because he'll always care about his ex-girlfriend more than you.
3. Because he always has to be right, which means you'll always be crazy.
4. Because you might actually catch feelings, which he'll never return.
5. Because he isn't actually good looking.
6. Or good in bed.
7. Or a good human being.
8. Or nice.
9. He's just a jerk looking for something to stick his dick in.

I am in a void.

I feel incomplete.

I eat and it doesn't fill me up.
I sleep and it doesn't make me less tired.

Human interaction is the most exhausting part of my day.
My Ritalin barely helps anymore.




My doctor thinks I need to go see a counselor, that I have warning signs of depression.
When did they start screening for depression at the doctor's office?
It must be new.



It's unseasonably warm here. I live in a place that typically gets record amounts of snow per year. So far we've only had it one day.
I can remember years where it started snowing in the beginning of October and didn't stop until the end of May.


But there's no snow.
It's 50 degrees out. Fahrenheit.
I don't know what to do.

Puzzle Pieces.

Have you ever known someone who was like an extension of yourself? Your real self, not the many facets of your soul that you show to the world. When we met, it was like cars colliding on a busy highway, and after long nights of drinks and drugs and sex, there came a peaceful time of movies and cats and soda. We moved to the same rhythm, worked to the same tune. Our souls were puzzle pieces, and we fit somehow. I don’t know who noticed it first. But we were both scared. Scared of each other but I think scared of ourselves and how could any one person be so easy to talk to? I was willing to dive. Willing but hesitant, because you, worldly and jaded, made the rules. And you, jaded and weary cut the ties. I thought I would never again be able to trust my feelings about people. How could I have thought that someone like you could fit with someone like me? Only now I realize our souls are puzzle pieces, perfectly matched in shape and size but unfortunately not in color or design.

A little clarification is in order.

@Sam Lupin, I'm sorry if I worried you. I have been working pretty hard to eat healthy (granola bars are my current vice).
I want to lose weight by exercising and eating right, and my new job allows me a free gym membership.
Now, usually I'm so tired from my day (which is only five hours, so I don't know why I'm always so tired...) that I take naps in the middle (I work 7-9 and 3-6) and go to bed super early. So I'm trying to find time in there to work out. Hopefully I can get my life together and work out in the in-between times. I would like that a lot. I miss being strong and I miss running.

I hate running.
But I miss being able to run without the pain of shin splints.


The struggles of being fat.

Well... I figured it out.

The answer to my recent bout of sadness is quite obvious now.

Thanks to the steady stream of blood gushing from my... Well, you get it.




I would really like to lose some more weight soon. Yes.

I'm very sad.

I don't really have a whole lot of words right now.
I just started a new job and I have no idea what I'm doing.
I hate living with my parents.
I hate not being in college.
I feel very much alone.

Basically, with this job, I ended up with a position that puts me in charge of an entire before/after school program. So I have to make all the lesson plans and themes and do all the paperwork and I wish that I had been hired for the lower assistant position because I have literally no idea what I'm doing.

Nothing I do is ever good enough for my dad.


I miss my friends from college. I feel like I don't have any friends here. The people I work with are nice, but I want to go back to when things didn't matter and I could just live how I wanted.


I hate everything about myself.

Living at home

Is the absolute worst thing in the world.

My dad has cancer whoop de fucking doo. He got his treatment and now he's recovering from that treatment, and because of that, my mom and I are constantly walking on eggshells.
Every time I try to talk to him or tell him about a job I'm looking at applying for, he always comes back with some rude bitchy with a rude bitchy tone comment about how "Why don't you apply for a job in the field you have a degree in?" "We put a roof over your head and food on your plate, so until you start getting a paycheck, you better start doing some fucking work."

JESUS CHRIST I'VE BEEN HOME ONE WEEK.

I was talking to my mom about my resume, and her coworker who is going to help me fix it up, and he starts in with shit about, "You're 22 years old just fucking do it yourself."


I'm so close to just packing my car with as much stuff as possible and moving the fuck out.

I can live in my car until I find a job, right?