Today, in college, I ate...

-1 cup of coffee with two tablespoons of hot chocolate.
-1 FiberOne bar

Granted, it's only noon, and I probably will go get dinner, but right now, I'm being anti-social in my dorm room, considering doing homework.

The veggie burgers in the Commons are really good.
So are the milkshakes.


No, Charlie. No.
Called my dad today. He told me to go for a run.

To put this politely, Dad... Fuck you.

I do love my parents. I swear.
But shit. I haven't been eating a whole lot (for me, I realize most people on here eat about 10x less than me a day), and I think I may have lost a little weight already. I can't tell for sure, but my stomach seems a little flatter, my waist seems a little smaller.


On a side note, I think I have a new crush.
But that's all I'm going to say about that for now. :)

I can't believe what I did last night.

I told one of the girls I worked with over the summer, the one that K likes, everything.

Bingeing, starving, cutting, purging.

Everything.




And she didn't freak out. She didn't threaten to tell my parents.
She told me I was beautiful.
She told me she had already suspected that I did most of it.
She told me that she didn't want me to hurt myself anymore.
And she told me that she loved me.


I don't think I've ever had this good a friend before.

Today, in college, I ate...

-1 cup of cottage cheese
-1 cup of lettuce
-1/2 cup of cucumber slices
-2 bags of peanut M&Ms
-1 bag of pretzel M&Ms
-1 bag of Lay's barbecue potato chips
-Approximately 12 Jolly Ranchers
-A little under 1/2 of a veggie burger
-1 cup of french fries
-1 chocolate milkshake
-1 mini pretzel with hummus

Today, in college, I purged...
-A little under 1/2 of a veggie burger
-1 cup of french fries
-1 chocolate milkshake



Why does this have to follow me wherever I fucking go?
I didn't purge at camp... All summer. Well, I purged this summer. Three times.

But not at camp.


Camp is like sacred space to me.


I need sacred space here.
Wherewherewherewherewherewhere.

Today, in college, I ate...

-1 apple
-1 cup of cottage cheese
-1 cup of mandarin oranges
-3 celery sticks
-1 mini-carrot
-1 cone of pistachio ice cream
-1 bag of regular M&Ms
-1 bag of Lay's barbecue potato chips

Meh.

I think my tummy's getting a bit smaller.



Heather, you can HAVE these weirdos. They are straaange. I was bonding with another girl on my floor about it.
Also, I love when you make friends with someone from your hometown the first day in college, and then he ignores you for bitchy, super-skinny girls. Coooooool.

I didn't want to fucking chill with you anyway.

Need to stop eating, need to stop eating, need to stop...

So I have some friends at college. I don't know how good friends they'll end up being, but for now, they're my girl friends, my party friends, etc.
Unfortunately for me, they're all roommates, and my dorm is at the top of the hill and theirs is at the bottom.
My entire floor is Honors and the girls are... kind of strange. Like, I'm a nerd, totally... but... I don't flaunt it like it's my job. I don't expect boys to like me for my mind (even though they should). I don't make up fake boyfriends (!!! one of my roommate's friends was talking about it last night) and I don't stay in the dorm. I like to party, hahaha (well, I stayed in the dorm last night because I was fucking exhausted).

Now, about my college friends. They are all insanely gorgeous. And not only are they gorgeous, they're those girls who will talk to guys, no problem. They'll talk to anyone no problem, and it makes me kind of jealous.

So I need to stop eating. I need to lose weight.
It needs to happen fast.

Thank you guys for your comments. :)
@kes; I do share a fridge, unfortunately. :( Luckily though, I don't have a car, so it's not super-easy for me to get off-campus to buy food. Whenever I go to the dining hall, I always head straight for the cottage cheese and mandarin oranges, and try to avoid the fries that are there right when you walk in. D:
@Sam Lupin; Thank you for your support. <3
@Heather; We'll do better today. :)

Today, in college, I ate...

-1 FiberOne Bar
-About 1 cup of cottage cheese
-About 1 cup of mandarin oranges
-1 apple
-One scoop of cotton candy ice cream in a cone
-2 Capri Suns
-2 peanut granola bars
-1 Domino's Cinnamon Stick
-1 bag of Lay's barbecue chips
-1 bag of peanut M&Ms

So, basically, too much.
Maybe I'll eat less once our mini-fridge comes in... Wait.
That's completely ridiculous logic.


I missed you too, Heather. <3

I fucking love college.

No one watches what I eat...
If I want to have a granola bar and one slice of pizza for food for the day, no one says anything.

However, I was drinking tonight, so I had Spaghetti-O's before I went out, so that's gross.



I don't think I've lost any weight yet. My college is built on a hill, so you'd think with all the walking I could lose something, but nope. Still fat.
When we go out to the frat houses, the guys come up to my friends... And look at my friends... And talk to my friends... While I stand there.

There was one guy that showed interest in me as well as one of my friend, but the beer was shit, and there were too many girls, so we left.

But shit. I love college.